Archives for category: technology

Check emails.

See what your contacts are up to on LinkedIn.

Go to twitter. Click on any interesting links and find something to tweet about.

Facebook – has your opponent made their move in ‘Words with Friends’ yet?

Look up how many views you’ve had on your website.

Google someone from that film you saw last night because you can’t quite remember what you’ve seen them in before.

Have any more emails come in while you’ve been doing all this?

Start again from the top.

That’s two hours gone. You can whittle away an entire day following this same loop – especially when you’re working in communications and have a legitimate reason for getting involved in social networking during business hours.

It’s very easy to get sidetracked like this but it’s nothing compared to working in Photoshop. It can do such wonderful things – make even the flimsiest concept appear bright and dazzling and intricate. You’ll open it up thinking: ‘I’ll just have a play around until I come up with something’ and before you know it, it’s 3am and you’ve spent 14 hours tinkering with a 20 pixel square that’s only visible when viewed at 1600% magnification.

We’ve all done it.

If you don’t want to fall into this trap, it’s vital that you have a clear idea about what you’re going to do before you start. The idea is the main thing – the software you use is just a tool, something to get the job done more effectively. Photoshop is the equivalent of a builder’s lump-hammer or a plumber’s wrench.

At the very start of a job, Sophie and I always sit down and work out exactly what it is we want to say. I sketch layouts on sheets of A4, Sophie has a snazzy little notebook. We both use pens.

Only when our papers are peppered with arrows and crossings-out do we go to our laptops. With the message worked out beforehand, Photoshop isn’t such a time vampire.

This gives us much more time to check our emails, connect on LinkedIn, tweet, use Facebook, look at our website views, write blogs…

Mark

This is my typewriter. 

Zammerchat TypewriterIt’s a 1931 Remington Portable. I can’t be 100% positive but, after thorough research, I’m reasonably sure that it’s the same model as George Orwell used. I found it in my local junk shop on an occasional table in the middle of all the baskets of jewellery, tea trays stacked with yellowing board games, wigs, cigarette cards and porcelain ornaments. It’s exactly the kind of shop that Orwell described in one of his essays: Just Junk – But Who Could Resist It?

As well as designing for Zammerchat, I’m currently working on a book about Orwell so when I saw this typewriter buried amongst all the clutter, it seemed as though it had been placed there for me to find.

It now sits pride of place in the Zammerchat attic. I like having it around because, aside from the Orwell connection, it’s such a solid piece of machinery – a crafted object, dependable and practical. It’s built to be portable so the return handle doesn’t stick up. Instead the hammers of the keys are lowered by a pull-out slide on the right, the paper feed knob slotting into the spool. It can all be neatly compacted using a solid set of mechanical levers to make it easy to pack away and carry. 

It takes less time to get ready for typing than it takes for my laptop to boot up.

There are some other quirks that I’ve grown to love. On the back it says:

There’s a guarantee on the inside of the carrying case:

It also has keys for fractions – these are the most yellowed, the most untouched by the stamp of fingertips:

The names of some of the previous users are stained on the ribbon: Mary, Elizabeth, Emily. The keys hit home with a satisfying clack. You know you’ve written something when you hear that noise. It still works, 80 years after it was built.

I can’t type on it though, I make too many mistakes, re-write things too many times. I’m lost with out a copy and paste function. I’ve been spoilt by too much technology.

It feels good to have the typewriter around. It serves as a reminder of the fundamental basics of our craft, basics that are often obscured by focusing on the latest technology.

Maybe I’m just being pretentious. Maybe, after all, it’s just junk. But, as Orwell said, who could resist it?

Mark

Further to our post last year about banned words, I thought I’d share something I found at my parents’ home this Christmas.

It shows that stockpiles of impressive sounding yet ultimately meaningless words have been around for a while – and they’re certainly not limited to the creative industry. This sheet was circulated in the research labs of British Steel in the 1970s:

Jargon Zammerchat

TRANSCRIPT:


BSC Special Steels

Management Training Centre
Brookfield Manor

Instant Random Jargon Generator

Technology has created a new type of jargon that is nearly as incomprehensible as it is sophisticated. We recently came across an unusual technique called an Instant Random Jargon Generator, which will help you master this jargon. With it, you can generate an almost endless variety of intelligent-sounding technical terms.

The technique is easy to use. Merely select a digit from each of the three columns below and combine the words opposite each number into your own technical jargon. For example, select ‘3’, ‘9’, and ‘0’ and you generate ‘Parallel policy options’,’ an expression bound to command instant respect – and confusion.

MORAL: Watch your language

COLUMN 1
0.  integrated

1.  total
2.  systematized
3.  parallel
4.  functional
5.  responsive
6.  optical
7.  synchronized
8.  compatible
9.  balanced

COLUMN 2
0.  management
1.  organizational
2.  monitored
3.  reciprocal
4.  digital
5.  logic
6.  transitional
7.  incremental
8.  third-generation
9.  policy
10. quality (handwritten)

COLUMN 3
0.  options
1.  flexibility
2.  capability
3.  mobility
4.  programming
5.  concept
6.  time-phase
7.  projection
8.  hardware
9.  contingency
10. performance (handwritten)

Mark

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