Apostrophe Apocalypse

January 27, 2012 //
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I don’t think the apostrophe has ever had as much coverage as it has in January 2012.

With Waterstones dropping its apostrophe, grammar pedants everywhere have been given a platform to convey their outrage and hold up the apostrophe as the beacon of a rational and functioning society (see The Daily Mail and the ‘extinction’ of the apostrophe).

Language is my business. I know that without the apostrophe, meaning can easily be misconstrued and misunderstood. I don’t doubt the apostrophe’s importance in communicating clearly and properly, but I don’t really see what the fuss is with Waterstones. As David Marsh says in The Guardian (smugly), ‘no apostrophe? Hey, no catastrophe.’

I may not think Waterstones has done anything disastrous with the English language, but the apostrophe is sadly unloved in retail. Amidst the grammar drama, I couldn’t help noticing the lack of apostrophes around Falmouth, where I live. Below is pedantic evidence of the unloved apostrophe (and one ridiculous spelling mistake I threw in for good measure).

Falmouth Apostrophes

An apostrophe, like all grammar is there to define and guide meaning. With the Waterstones brand, I think people like John Richards and The Apostrophe Society have missed the point. It’s Waterstones’ brand, it’s Waterstones’ name. They can do what they like with it. They don’t stop making grammatical sense just because they’re having a bit of a rebrand. Whether you think it’s good rebranding is another matter entirely. Knock the branding but don’t knock the grammar. We’ve got more important language issues to tackle.

Waterstones Vs the apostrophe articles

Sophie

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Categories branding, language, meaning

The Power of Words

January 19, 2012 //
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The pen is mightier than the sword.

You try telling that to a mugger on a deserted street at 1.30 in the morning. Righteous indignation and a puffed up sense of your own importance aren’t very useful against a kitchen knife or baseball bat. Because, after all, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.’

So how effective are words, really?

I’ve just finished Jonathan Coe’s latest novel, The Terrible Privacy of Maxwell Sim. There’s a line of dialogue near the beginning that really stands out to me. The title character’s wife is giving him a reason why she’s leaving him: ‘You’re the kind of person who will never have his life changed by a book.’

Unlike Maxwell Sim, I think I am the kind of person who can have his life changed by a book. Off the top of my head, I can think of three that have had a deep, fundamental effect on the way I look at life – books that I go back to time and time again.

Certain books – and they don’t have to be philosophical studies or great works of art – just happen to strike exactly with your mental state at exactly the right time. They make you feel as though they’ve been written especially for you. It’s not just the ideas they contain, it’s how those ideas are conveyed; the words the writer chooses to use. Put together in the right way, words change how people think.

Look at any kind of oppressive regime, for example, the sort of regimes that go on to kill thousands or millions of people. They don’t just ban the books they disapprove of; right at the start, at about the same time as they’re killing off their political opponents, they make sure they get rid of the writers too. They know that writers are dangerous, writers are powerful, writers can change the world. The only weapons they need are words and words are much cheaper and easier to get hold of than a nuclear warhead or Kalashnikov – even a kitchen knife or baseball bat.

It’s true that a witty put-down or pithy comment about a mugger’s hoodie won’t be much use when he offers to plunge a blade into your neck, but that’s a short-term, rather immediate problem. The long-term issues; the reason why that mugger’s there, the series events that led him to that deserted street at 1.30am – these are all things that can be influenced by choosing the right words. Political, social, moral or consumerist – these are the areas where the writer is in control, where the pen is mightier than the sword.

Mark

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Categories books, ideas, writing

Catch Him and Keep Him

January 13, 2012 //
1

This week, I was watching something incredibly important on YouTube and accidentally clicked on one of their ever multiplying ad links. The website it took me to was called Catch Him and Keep Him.

For those of you who quite rightly can’t be bothered to click on the link, as the name suggests it’s a website about how a woman can catch a man (run fast) and keep him (bring shackles).

The website helps women to understand the ‘secret language’ of men so that she can attract the right man and keep him in love with her forever. This insight into the male psyche is written by Christian Carter, who is… well I can’t tell you, because the ‘About Christian Carter’ section spends over 1,000 words telling you nothing about who Christian Carter is. There wasn’t much to read on this website (you have to sign up to learn what all men want) but what is on there is a marvel of relationship lingo.

The mistakes women make, the things they do to annoy men and what they are guilty of feature heavily in every intro to Christian’s articles. Women are talked about in a way that suggests they have sole responsibility for getting and maintaining any relationship and men are talked about as a difficult collective commodity. A bit like owning a dog.

Amidst the sweeping gender generalisations lies a language about relationships which is fundamentally pointless. Like most articles and advice on relationships, Christian refers to very specific strategies, tips and ways of communicating which completely fail to take into consideration the individuality and complexities of people and the relationships they have.

Personally I think any type of communication is about empathy and that includes not making generalisations and assumptions. It’s bad for romantic relationships and it’s bad for business relationships. If you don’t understand who you’re talking to, if you can’t put yourself in their shoes, then you won’t be able to communicate a thing.

So sorry Christian, I don’t want to catch anything. I already have a cold.

Some good articles on the language of marriage and relationships…

Sophie

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Categories communication, relationships, writing

Jargon Generator

January 4, 2012 //
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Further to our post last year about banned words, I thought I’d share something I found at my parents’ home this Christmas.

It shows that stockpiles of impressive sounding yet ultimately meaningless words have been around for a while – and they’re certainly not limited to the creative industry. This sheet was circulated in the research labs of British Steel in the 1970s:

Jargon Zammerchat

TRANSCRIPT:


BSC Special Steels
Management Training Centre
Brookfield Manor

Instant Random Jargon Generator

Technology has created a new type of jargon that is nearly as incomprehensible as it is sophisticated. We recently came across an unusual technique called an Instant Random Jargon Generator, which will help you master this jargon. With it, you can generate an almost endless variety of intelligent-sounding technical terms.

The technique is easy to use. Merely select a digit from each of the three columns below and combine the words opposite each number into your own technical jargon. For example, select ‘3’, ‘9’, and ‘0’ and you generate ‘Parallel policy options’,’ an expression bound to command instant respect – and confusion.

MORAL: Watch your language

COLUMN 1
0.  integrated
1.  total
2.  systematized
3.  parallel
4.  functional
5.  responsive
6.  optical
7.  synchronized
8.  compatible
9.  balanced

COLUMN 2
0.  management
1.  organizational
2.  monitored
3.  reciprocal
4.  digital
5.  logic
6.  transitional
7.  incremental
8.  third-generation
9.  policy
10. quality (handwritten)

COLUMN 3
0.  options
1.  flexibility
2.  capability
3.  mobility
4.  programming
5.  concept
6.  time-phase
7.  projection
8.  hardware
9.  contingency
10. performance (handwritten)

Mark

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Categories meaning, technology, writing

Ten Reasons Why I Love Twitter

December 16, 2011 //
1

Last year I didn’t like Twitter. I thought it was just the worst of Facebook – a stream of inane status updates, infinite and unrelenting.

How wrong I was.

After tentatively courting Twitter for the last 18 months, I’ve slowly grown to love it. So to make up for misunderstanding one of the best social platforms to ever grace the web, (and because I’m feeling goodwill to all men this December) I want to acknowledge why I love Twitter.

There are already some great blogs telling you the top ten reasons why Twitter is useful and how to get the most out of it. Jeff Bullas has some good articles on using Twitter. I want to give you the top ten of what makes Twitter universally great.

1. The birth of Twitter

Twitter was born while Jack Dorsey and his group were having a brainstorming session in a playground, eating Mexican food. Every great idea needs a good story and anything that promotes the benefits of Mexican food and arsing around on swings as a fully grown adult, is OK by me.

2. The guiding principles of Twitter

‘Simplicity, constraint and craftsmanship.’ These are brilliant principles to apply to anything – especially writing and design. You can see them in action in the way Twitter is designed, the way it works and the way it’s used.

3. There’s no room to waffle

Following on from the principles above, Twitter makes you think about exactly what you want to say, clearly and succinctly. (It’s good practice for writers too.)

4. Instant news and info

This one’s obvious but it’s what we use Twitter for. I’m into quite varied things and with a bit of careful following I can get general news, info from businesses, screenwriting tips and cult film updates – all at once.

5. Breaks down social barriers

On Twitter, everyone is born equal. You can get into an instant conversation with politicians, film directors, journalists, actors and… well, anyone on Twitter. It stops bureaucracy in its tracks.

6. Reclaiming the media

We decide what’s news on Twitter. People have revolutionised the way the media works by ignoring super-injunctions, reporting personal experience and giving the news in real time.

7. Philanthropy

One of my favourite things about Twitter is the positivity it breeds. It’s helpful and genuinely sociable by its very nature.

8. A useful addiction

My Twitter addiction is more productive than doing logic puzzles, playing online games or watching Masterchef: The Professionals. Even as my forefinger refreshes the page, like some demented woodpecker I know I’m engaging with something useful.

9. Control

Unlike other social networks I’m not constantly encouraged to click on ads and add old school friends. There’s no social faux pas in ‘unfollowing’ people and I choose what I see, what I say and who I say it to – the way social media should be.

10. Good feedback

If people aren’t interested, you’ll know about it because no one will reply, hashtag or retweet. There are lots of clever ways to gain followers and tips on how to engage with them, but really it all boils down to whether you’re saying something interesting. There’s no better way to find out if you’ve got it right.

So these are the reasons why I love Twitter. If you’ve got any to add, or want to tell me why you hate Twitter, post a comment.

I’ll leave you with the words of Twitter founder, Jack Dorsey: ‘One could change the world with one hundred and forty characters.’

Sophie

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Categories communication, Twitter, writing

Mind The Gap

December 1, 2011 //
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So as you’ve probably gathered, Zammerchat believes that writers and designers should be working together if they want to get their message out properly.

Often designers and writers work pretty much independently of each other when producing content and this leaves a gap.

That gap is a little black hole that story and meaning get sucked into.

Consider the graphic novel. These guys had it right years ago. They use design to structure their layout and build style and atmosphere. Their design creates essence and form and the words really define the message – the story.

But bizarrely, people working in the creative industry have only recently – and on a very small scale – begun to realise that writing and design should be knitted together. Not done separately, not even done side by side, but done together.

So why has it taken so long?

Well, they are two very different practices and many people believe one to be more important than the other.

We disagree.

Writing and design might be different practices but ultimately, both are trying to convey an idea. What good writers and designers have in common is empathy. You have to know how people will interpret your message, you have to understand what people will infer from your content and you have to make sure there are no gaps in understanding.

The form is different but the aim is the same – to communicate.

Sophie

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Categories communication, design, writing

Banned Words

November 22, 2011 //
10

Welcome to our new website. We hope you like it.

We’ve spent a while developing the look and feel of it, even longer coming up with the content. We’re used to writing for other people but when it comes to writing about ourselves…

How exactly do you pin down what it is that you do? What words do you use to define yourself? There’s a lot of pressure when your website is your shop-window – how do you convince someone that you know what you’re doing without coming across smug or cocky or desperate?

Like any creative profession, much of our work is born out of experience and instinct, which can be difficult to articulate. It’s incredibly easy to fall back on jargon and cliché. In our industry there are certain words that are bandied about so frequently that all their meaning has been worn away. Here are a few:

Integrated
Juxtaposition
Innovation-led
Solutions
Forward-thinking
Passionate
Holistic
One-stop-shop
Fusing
Paradigm
Bespoke
Real-time
Platform
Redefining
Pro-active

Once you’ve got a stockpile of these impressive sounding words, it’s easy to link a few of them together to form sentences:

Zammerchat is an innovation-led agency offering a bespoke, fully integrated service to redefine the paradigms of your business.

or

We are passionate about providing holistic, forward-thinking solutions to ensure that your company is pro-active across real-time platforms.

A phrase like that might fill the tricky ‘about us’ section, but what does it actually mean?

These types of ready-made phrases show that you haven’t searched hard enough for the right words – they’re quick, easy, vague and ultimately lazy. By using them you might save yourself some mental anguish but you sacrifice precision and clarity.

Words should be picked for their meaning and imagery should be used to enhance that meaning. It’s not enough to say that you’re ‘innovation-led’ or that you offer ‘bespoke solutions’ – if you’re putting yourself forward as a creative agency, these things should be pretty obvious already.

In writing this website we made every effort to ensure that we were thinking clearly about who we are and what we do. That’s why, when we were writing this site, we banned every word on the above list.

If you happen to spot one we’ve missed or you come across any other hackneyed turn of phrase that gets on your nerves, please let us know. We’ll add it to our list.

Mark

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Categories meaning, websites, writing
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